The Path Before Us
by JenLeight
Summary: Zyelle woke up in a strange time on a strange starship surrounded by strange people. The last thing she remembered was Malachor V and that was over 300 years ago. She dislikes the Jedi for many reasons but when her friend, Master Ariae Lexon, asks her to infiltrate the crew of the Emperor's Wrath, she can't say no. A certain Captain doesn't trust her from the start. M for violence.
1. The Awakening

**The Path Before Us**

 **Chapter 1: The Awakening**

 **Disclaimer for the whole series** : I do not own anything in the SWTOR or KOTOR universe or franchise. I simply own my own characters and ideas.

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" _Life is short; forgive quickly, love truly, kiss slowly and never regret anything."_

" _Zyelle_ …"

Everything was black. I can't remember the last time I felt anything. All I know is misty darkness and a hushed voice calling my name. I don't remember anything other than that name. Zyelle… Who was that voice? That reassuring and tender voice…

The serene feeling I was engulfed in was shattered as tall black mountains broke from the ground and rose up on either side of me. Fog covered the rock floor and reached up into the cloud covered skies begging for escape.

" _Zyelle_ …"

The air was filled with screams of agony and I began to run towards what, I do not know. My chest was contracting from lack of air and my legs cramped up from my feet but I was moving so quickly the scenery around me blurred into nothing.

"Zyelle!" a voice wailed in pain. _Atton_. I shuddered to a stop and stared at the scene before me. The ground was splitting into puzzle pieces and the tall mountains trembled and fell towards the earth. Atton's back was leaning against the temple entrance as he sat on the cold ground. Crimson blood pooled around his body and the foundation above him began to crack. I took a step back before force pushing myself forward across the endless abyss below me. My feet hit the solid ground and I instantly dropped down to Atton's side.

I tried to stop the blood that flowed from Atton's wound. I was desperately checking his life signs with the force and used my vision to see what he was really feeling. A wet hand cupped my cheek and wiped away the tears that were flowing from my eyes.

"Zyelle… You should have gone back to the ship. There's nothing you can do to help me here. You know that. I'm as good as gone," Atton choked on blood and clutched onto my arm in terror. He was trying to put on a brave face for me but his aura was spinning wildly and twitching in the air showing his pain. I looked into his hazel eyes, willing him to stay with me. Panic in this moment would do neither of us any good.

"I wasn't about to leave my Pazaak playing, smart mouthed pilot here alone," I tried to lighten the atmosphere. I pushed his hair back from his face and placed my forehead against his. His breathing was becoming more sporadic and his pulse was weakening with every passing moment. I reached through his body with the force and tried to locate the source of the problem. My heart stopped when I finally found it and realized he was right. I was too late. I didn't make it in time. Damn it Meetra. Damn it Traya. Damn it all.

I hadn't realized how hard I was crying until Atton wrapped his arms around me with what remaining strength he had to muster. He hushed me softly and ran his fingers through my hair. I trembled violently as I held him as close to me as I could possibly manage. _Please… Don't leave me…_

"I'm not going anywhere gorgeous." Atton assured me. I hadn't realized I communicated through the force until after his reply. It looks like Meetra and I's training wasn't as bad as we had originally anticipated. He had learned a thing or two in these past months traveling through space finding the members of the Jedi council.

"Atton… I…" I couldn't finish before lava from Malachor V's core erupted through the large cracks in the planets floor. We both spun our heads to look at the burning liquid and I created a barrier above of the broken temple ruins to shield us from the heat. However, this planet made me weak and I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to keep this going. Atton gently touched my shoulder and the look on his face broke my heart.

"Zyelle, you need to get out of here before it's too late." I wanted to hit him. To chide him for such a foolish request he knew I had no intention of accepting.

"Not a chance babe. I'm not going anywhere. If I die, I will die with the only man I have ever loved. Do you understand me?" I tried to be as firm as I could in this moment. Atton's weak and heartbroken smile tore me apart but he nodded and gently rested his head on my chest. Tears streamed down my face and mixed with the blood soaked rock.

A sickening crack echoed through the air and I looked up to see the entryway finally give. I dropped the barrier I had made to catch the rubble but my world went black and the air filled with nauseating screams.

All I ever knew was the darkness. So what was this dream? Was it even real? Was I even real?

Suddenly lights began to trickle through the darkness. Maybe this was it. Maybe I was going to die today. After so many years of deafening silence and blinding darkness maybe I was to finally be free of this prison.

The darkness was replaced with a blazing light. Muffled voices filled my ears but no voices that I recognized. My whole body felt stiff like my limbs hadn't been used in over a thousand years. It was cold. Colder than I had ever remembered being. My senses activated immediately in defense of my unusual and new surroundings. I saw one aura immediately surrounding me and a few other auras in the close proximity but nothing else for an eternity.

I tried to take a deep breath in but it felt like my chest was being pressed down by a bantha. When I opened my eyes I found myself immediately regretting it. Was I in front of a large star? I blinked a few times until my eyes began to adjust. The smell of chemicals filled my nose and quick beeps of machines came from my left. I turned my head slowly to see a man tinkering with a datapad. He was of average height. He wore doctor's robes and combat boots with a blaster at his side and a belt full of medical supplies. His hair was short and black and I could see part of his mustache when he slightly turned his head to look down at supplies.

It seemed like I was in a med room. That explained the unnerving bright lights and the smell of chemicals. I looked out the door and saw a large holo-communicator station which was a dead giveaway that we were on a starship of some kind which explained why I was so cold. It was bright so it definitely wasn't a Sith starship. Was it possibly a starship from the Republic? Smuggler? Please tell me I'm not on a starship of a bounty hunter. Of course, if that were the case I would probably be in a cage instead of in a med center. My eyes began to flicker around the room looking for some sort of weapon if needed. I didn't know what these people were going to do to me after they discovered I was awake.

"Ariae! Our guest is awake!" The doctor yelled across the ship. Well, I guess we were about to find out. I tried to sit up in a defensive position but my body betrayed me and I fell back to the med bed with a thud. Well that didn't work quite like I had planned. "Woah, hey, calm down. You're safe. We're not going to hurt you."

"Who…" my voice was weak and it stung when I spoke but I pushed on, "Who are you? Where am I?" The doctor gave me a warm smile and filled a cup with some water.

"My name is Doc. You're currently on a Jedi starship headed to the planet Tython." He answered me while handing me the glass. I slowly let the water revive my dry throat before placing it on the table next to me and pushing myself into a sitting position.

"Look, thank you for… whatever you did to help me, but I don't deal with Jedi unless I'm forced and if you're forcing me we're going to have a problem." After dealing with ignorant councils and foolish Jedi masters, I didn't make it a point to make friends with lots of their kind. My memory was still hazy and there were a lot of spots missing but I knew for a fact that I did not like to deal with the exhausting and foolish ways of the Jedi.

"Are you a Sith then? You're force aura is stronger than any I have ever felt. The council could feel in on Tython so you must be a force user of some sort," a soothing female voice spoke from the doorway. She was wearing Jedi robes over her battle armor and I could see a lightsaber hanging from her hip. The force was flowing strongly around her. I gave her a blank stare.

"No. I avoid the Sith even more than the Jedi. However, I do not like to waste my energy listening to Jedi preach either." I took my stand on the issue and never broke eye contact with the woman. This must be Ariae, the person Doc called out to earlier. I could hear Doc chuckle from beside me.

"She looks like she's going to be feisty. I'll let you two work this out," Doc stated before starting to stroll out the door.

"No. You stay. The Jedi can leave," I stopped him. My memories were flooding in now and I didn't want anything to do with her. Every time I got entangled with Jedi, something always happened to almost destroy the peace of the galaxy. Ariae stared at me, glaring daggers into my own eyes. Doc's aura was extremely uncomfortable but I wasn't going to talk to her alone that's for sure. I saw Ariae visibly relax before giving a nod to Doc and then retreating from the room. I let out a sigh of relief and Doc clicked his tongue.

"I'm never going to hear the end of that. Thanks… well, I don't seem to know your name," Doc stared at me curiously and I turned to look him straight in the eyes.

"My name is Zyelle Ryxx."

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Hi guys! My name is Jenna and I haven't posted anything on here for a very, very long time. There are stories on here that I will probably never finish and I'm extremely sorry for those people but I don't even know where I was going with those stories anymore… whoops.

This story is going to be very different from anything else I've seen on here. I'm connecting both the KOTOR and SWTOR universe with a character who… well, you'll see. She's very unique. There's going to be a lot of background coming your way in the next chapter and then I'm going to get started on the action and the actual story. No, she is not going to fall in love with Doc. Yes, she is going to fall in love with Malavai. Yes, she's a very complicated character and I hope you love her as much as I do!

Please leave me any comments and questions you have! I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Leave any questions you have on Zyelle because you may think of things that I don't and I need to add in the next chapter.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Shoot me a message if you want to know anything about me or have any questions you want answered right away because I'd be happy to talk to any of you! Have a great day!

-Jenna


	2. The Broken and Forgotten

**The Path Before Us**

 **Chapter 2:** The Broken and Forgotten

 **AN:** A long chapter ahead with a lot of background information. Hopefully everything starts to make sense now!

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" _The only thing I have to do in life is die. Everything else is a choice, even breathing."_

"Zyelle Ryxx. That's an interesting name. Do you want to try and explain some things to me? Honestly, all of us are pretty confused. When the council told Ariae there was a strong force signal on Dantooine, we expected to find a person not a human sized ice cube," Doc was rambling now. He could feel the frustration of Ariae while she was meditating in her private quarters all the way at the other end of the starship and it was causing unrest. I kept in a chuckle. This Ariae character was emitting a strong jealousy aura and I'm pretty sure the whole ship was affected by it. She must care for Doc a great deal. He was fidgeting with his hands and pacing in the small med room. I stared at him with a stone expression even though I was laughing on the inside. I didn't know if it was safe or smart to make friends at this point and I was trying to reveal as little about myself as possible until I felt safe.

Doc sighed, "Of course. You're about as easy to read as Ariae." Doc slumped down onto the chair across from me and buried his head in his hands ruffling his hair. "I guess it's a force user thing." I laughed out loud this time and Doc eyed me with surprise.

"We do tend to be a cryptic bunch. We try to hide our emotions as much as possible for our own safety and the safety of those around us," I joked but my expression turned cold quickly, "Our emotions tend to become our weakness… that's why we have a tendency to lose everything we love…" Atton's bloody face flashed through my mind… Malak's last breath… Revan disappearing without a word… Carth's reoccurring nightmares every night for months… Meetra pushing herself away from us the closer we got to Malachor… my parents…

"Hey, you okay? Ariae is pretty secretive about her past. Sometimes I wonder if she's trying to protect me from those demons she faces alone but you look like you've seen hell and back a thousand times over," Doc's voice was soft and welcoming. When I looked into his eyes I could feel my walls break down. I can't remember the last time I was able to entrust my past to someone. All of my friends were dead. Right after Ariae left I glanced at Doc's datapad and wanted to throw up when I saw the date. 313 years had passed since my last memory. 313 years since I last saw Atton die before my very eyes. Even now I have no idea what happened in those 313 years after the rubble fell on top of us. I'm sure it only caused me minor injuries but… I just hope that Atton's death was quick and painless.

"I can't tell you what happened when I was frozen but I can tell you everything I remember before that," I looked intensely at Doc. This wasn't going to be an easy story to tell and it was an even harder story to be told. Out of the 353 years I've lived, not many of my memories are happy ones. In fact, most of them are bloody and dark and end with nothing but pain. Doc was hesitant at first be he nodded firmly at me. My hands clenched and I sucked in a sharp breath. I knew he was going to have to report this to Ariae eventually but if we were on our way to Tython and a bunch of Jedi, I wasn't going to be able to keep it secret for much longer. The Jedi had a way of figuring out what they want to know and I was going to be an interesting case they just couldn't refuse once again.

"I'm ready to listen only if you're ready to tell me," Doc reassured me. He seemed like the type of guy who usually hid behind quick jokes and tall walls. He was a lot like Atton in that way. In the beginning, Atton would push me out in any way possible. It took me a long time to see the real feelings and thoughts behind the lies and the humor. It seems like the man with walls was ready to listen to the girl hidden deep in a guarded fortress.

"As you know, my name is Zyelle Ryxx. I am 353-years-old," I started. Doc's jaw dropped when I named my age but he let me continue. "I'm 5'7" and 120 Ibs, if that matters at all. You can probably tell from my appearance that I don't look like you or Ariae." Ariae was tan with deep maroon hair and bright blue eyes and looked like any other human in the galaxy. My appearance always made people look twice. My skin was pale like snow. My eyes were a light purple with a white glacier inner ring. My eyelashes were think and black, very different than my hair and eyebrows which were also cotton white. My lips were a constant shade of deep wine red and they popped from my pale skin.

I continued, "I'm the last of an extinct race called the Ziccar. We hailed from the planet Ellyss in the distant outer rim. I'm not sure if the planet is still inhabited but it used to thrive with never ending forests and water falls that fell for an eternity. The sky was always changing between gentle shades of purple and blue and the white clouds would fall and create a soothing mist that danced on the grass floor. The animals were always peaceful and lived among our race as pets most of the time. We lived in very complex buildings made inside tall ebony trees with silver leaves which made us seem unintelligent and primal to outsiders at first glance but in fact it was the opposite. We were tracked down for our knowledge of nature that intertwined with technology and our strong connection with the force. You see, our force sensitivity is twice that of a normal force sensitive being and our abilities are… special."

Doc's face morphed into confusion, "What do you mean abilities?"

I laughed at his raised eyebrows and foolishly parted lips, "We can… how do I say it… we can see what you're feeling."

Doc was silent for a moment, "…What in force's name is that supposed to mean?"

I closed my eyes and focused on my surroundings before opening them again. My usual light purple orbs lit up with a soft white glow as I answered his question, "Right now there are billions of tiny light particles swarming around your body. They're flickering lightly because you're confused but they're a soft blue color showing you're at peace." His aura flickered again and turned yellow with confusion. "Your Jedi, Ariae, has a stormy green aura because she's filled with jealousy and frustration but it gives away her strong connection to the force. I'm sure many people see her as a threat. A young woman's aura is drifting calmly like a deep blue sea after a storm. She is at peace. A soldier who's aura is orange with concentration while he cleans his weapons and runs through military missions through his head. Then…" I stopped and the white glow fell from my eyes. I jumped from my seat on the bed and stared through the walls focusing on a few doors down. A dark black aura was swarming calmly around a being, shielding it from force intruders.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Doc's voice was laced with concern and I stared him down, anger boiling inside of me.

"I'm only going to ask you this once. Do not lie to me. Is there a Sith aboard this starship?" Doc's body relaxed which made me tense even more. I have bad opinions of the Jedi but the Sith and I… Let's just say the last Sith I saw ended up meeting their head with my lightsaber. I was ready to eject myself from the escape pod into empty space if I had to.

"Don't worry Zyelle. You're completely safe. He left the Sith and joined Ariae in her quest to destroy the Emperor. He wouldn't hurt you, especially right now. He's just overly sensitive." Doc's joke instantly eased the atmosphere in the room and I sat back down on the bed, a little more alert than I was previously. I had become too relaxed. This was still an unfamiliar atmosphere and I didn't know enough about this crew yet to put my guard down completely.

I chuckled lightly at myself and shook my head, my long, white hair falling from its clip. I ran my fingers through the thick waves and sighed before continuing. "This was only one of our talents. Our hearing is enhanced, our sight is enhanced… all of our senses are always heightened and on alert. We can connect with the feelings of other beings and make them feel what we do whether it's pain or joy or hate. We were known around the galaxy for our advanced technology. We made traveling in hyperspace faster and connecting holo-calls across time and space more efficient. We also have a tendency of being connected to the nature around us so if we're on a damaged planet then our powers decrease exponentially but if we're on a calm and force connected planet like, say, Dantooine or Naboo, then our force powers are heightened."

"What about on a planet like Nar Shaddaa or Coruscant where it's full of people and machines?" Doc seemed very intrigued now and I couldn't help but smile. Atton was the exact same way when I explained this all to him.

"It's very… distracting. All of the auras tend to mix together and it's hard to keep your emotions under control. It's the same for all force sensitive beings but we, as a race, tend to bond to other beings more quickly and it affects our state of mind. We can see a force being across the galaxy if we focus enough. This also means we're good at deciphering lies and discovering the truth. I always know when someone is lying to me just by their force aura." As I said this, Doc's eyes widened.

"Can I test that theory?" Doc smirked mischievously. His back shot up straight and his body shook with anticipation and excitement like a small child.

I chuckled, "Sure. Try me."

Doc rubbed his chin before smiling at me, "My name is Archiban Frodrick Kimble." He looked at me and then began again, "Actually, My real name is Donald Otheus Storme." His aura spun wildly and turned a bright red and I started laughing hysterically. I clutched my chest and fell onto the bed. "What? What did I say?"

"Your…" I squeaked between laughter, "Your name is Archiban?! What was your mother thinking?!" Tears appeared in my eyes and my chest squeezed painfully with the lack of air from laughter.

"Sure, sure. Laugh it up tattoos," Doc mumbled but he was smiling despite himself. I calmed my senses and took a deep breath in before smiling at my tattoos. They were white and you could barely see them on my pale skin. Vines and technologically looking flowers adorned every inch of my body. It's something that connected my people to nature during ceremonies. The ancestors claimed that they brought us greater knowledge but I think they were just for show.

"The people of the tribe would gather around a newborn child and focus on the force to create these tattoos. They connect us to the force life around us," I informed him. We sat in silence for a while examining the tattoos that covered every part of my body except my face.

"What ended up happening?" Doc asked. My eyes bore into his with confusion, "To your people. What happened to them?" I opened my mouth but ended up letting out a deep sigh and turned my eyes to the floor. I traced the tattoos up and down my arms. I didn't really know the exact story behind the demise of my people. There were few of us throughout the galaxy in small colonies spread across different systems after the great slaughter of my people before we ended up fading away and I was the only one left.

I put it the only way I knew how without making it too complicated, "The Sith killed us all. They took our knowledge and then destroyed us." Doc's eyes turned soft. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth opened with shock. He reached his hand across and put it on my forearm. I produced a small smile while staring at the small nicks and cracks on the white floor. There was nothing more to be said on the matter. I could hear his next question before he asked it.

"My parents were also murdered by the Sith many years after the slaughter of our race. As I'm sure the Jedi already know it is nearly impossible to shield our force signature from the rest of the galaxy because of its strength. We're like walking force waves. We were eventually found by a female sith warrior by the name of Darth Zyralay. She cut my parents in half and took me as her apprentice." The word apprentice fell from my lips with malice. "I was five-years-old when she began the torture. The… experimentation as she liked to call it. Her team of three scientists worked on me every day while she trained me every night. She was hoping to awaken my force powers to incredible lengths and eventually use me to demolish the Jedi order. When I turned 21 the scientists made a breakthrough. I was drugged when they threw me into the lava on Mustafar like a children's doll."

Doc's aura turned a deep shade of purple and fell around him like rain. I watched as a tear slipped from his eye but I continued, "At first I was overwhelmed by pain. My skin was burning off but started to mend just as quickly and the painful process would just repeat over and over again. It was then I realized what they had been trying to accomplish all those years. They made me immortal. I found the floor of the river and began walking towards my slavers. When I reached the shore Zyralay's laughter chilled my very core. The doctors shouted triumphantly and my disgust reached its limit."

"That's when I exacted my revenge. I force pulled Zyralay's lightsaber from her side and snapped the head doctor's neck before tossing him to the volcanic floor. I cut the other two doctors in half with Zyralay's lightsaber before shooting lightning out at her. I was a thousand times stronger than she'd ever be and she had no chance of fighting back. Her screams vibrated off the volcanic walls and before she died I force pushed her back into the lava and watched her burn," my voice faded as the images flashed through my mind. I had nightmares about that night for years and had memorized every detail.

A river of tears was flowing down Doc's face now soaking his clothes. He didn't say anything and just stared at me. I realized I was connecting his emotions with mine. I sent soothing waves out into the room and waited until Doc visibly relaxed before continuing.

"I took her starship and landed on Nar Shaddaa. I needed the distraction and it was a good place to disappear. Even if someone felt my force sensitivity, it would be nearly impossible to find me with all the people living on that planet. I sold the ship and used the money to get a cheap apartment on the lower levels. I started with cheap jobs but within five years I was earning thousands of credits for the bounties I was taking care of. There was only one thing I was good at during that time in my life and everyone needed someone to disappear on Nar Shaddaa. After five years someone finally found me. Thankfully it was the Jedi and not another Sith. I was hesitant but once they told me they could help me control my powers and emotions so I could eventually shield them from the outside world, I agreed to the training."

"The Jedi council took little convincing since I was such an interesting case. A Jedi by the name of Master Varon took me as his apprentice. I wasn't an easy apprentice either. I had many walls. I didn't want to let anyone in but he soon became like an older brother to me. He was a mentor and friend..." my voice cracked and I had to hold the side of the bed to stabilize my emotions before continuing.

"After a few months I made friends with a young Jedi Padawan, Meetra Surik. She introduced me to two strong Padawans Revan and Malak. The three of us caused havoc for years. We would sneak off the temple to drink and party at cantinas. We pulled pranks on the Jedi Masters simply because we were bored and we always got away with it. Eventually we ended up defying the council and running off to fight against the Mandalorians during the Mandalorian Wars," I paused for a moment to see if Doc understood what I was talking about. I didn't know if the Mando wars were still frequently referred to.

Doc's face turned to one of admiration and that gave me my answer, "You fought in the Mandalorian wars?!"

I hummed, "Revan, Malak, Meetra and I commanded the Republic Army and many Jedi. Without Revan, the Republic would have fallen to Mandalorian rule." Doc made a whistle of approval before letting me continue.

"However, the victory was short lived. We discovered an ancient force artifact with great power and it turned Revan to the Dark Side and Malak followed in his footsteps like he always had. Meetra disappeared for a few years after being exiled from the Jedi Order." I stopped to make sure Doc was taking this all in. This story was much calmer and he looked like a child listening to bed time stories.

I smiled and continued the story, "Revan and Malak created a large Sith empire which was constantly fighting with The Republic. The thing with Sith is, they always betray each other in the end. Malak tried to kill Revan over power but the Jedi saved him when they realized Revan lost the memory of who he was as a Jedi and a Sith. They reprogrammed him as a Republic soldier."

"I had been working as a slicer when I met him and a small party in a Taris underground cantina. We were all stranded because Malak was looking for a Jedi and they had barricaded the planet to find her. I realized quickly that Revan didn't remember who he was and played along. I ended up joining the party and helped them escape Taris. By the end of the mission there were 11 of us: Two droids, the Republic soldier Revan, a real Republic soldier Carth Onasi, a smart young Twi'lek Mission Vao, her Wookie friend Zaalbar, a Mandalorian turned mercenary by the name of Canderous, and three Jedi: Juhani, Jolee Bindo and Bastila Shan. Our mission was…" Doc cut me off mid-sentence.

"Wait, did you say Bastila Shan? The Jedi master Bastila Shan?" He looked annoyed by the new name and I had no idea why.

"Yes, that Bastila Shan. Why? How do you know of Bastila?" There's no way he would know a Jedi from 313-years-ago. A Jedi might but a Republic doctor? Unless… did she accomplish something really awesome when I was gone? Bantha fodder… she's not even alive anymore for me to one up her.

I watched as Doc clenched his jaw and heaved a deep sigh, "Her great-great-great, however many greats, grand daughter is on the Jedi council: Satele Shan. Her son is a real swell guy. Theron. He works for the SIS. Great guy, really. Real smart. Smooth with the ladies"

A smile came to my face when Doc's aura turned to a vibrant green. There must have been some past with Theron and Ariae. "Bastila was a pain in the ass too if it makes you feel any better. She was always a controlling know-it-all. Anyway, the Jedi council sent us on some galaxy saving mission to find the same thing that turned Revan and Malak to the dark side except this time we were supposed to destroy it."

"We succeeded and after finding out who he really was, Revan disappeared leaving a note saying he was going to find and destroy the real sith. All of us went our separate ways. I stayed and helped Carth and the Republic on Telos. That's where I ran into Meetra again…" The atmosphere turned cold. I didn't mean to push my dark feelings out into the room but images of Atton flashed through my mind and blood clouded my vision.

"Well, that's all I remember," I concluded and lay back down on my bed while looking up at the white ceiling. I wasn't ready to talk about Malachor V. About Meetra and Atton… All of it… I wasn't ready. Doc rose from his seat before filling up my glass with water.

"Don't worry. You've told me enough today. You shouldn't push yourself. Especially after 313 years of being a popsicle," His joke lightened the mood and I looked at him in appreciation and smiled.

"Thanks… Archiban," light laughter escaped my lips before I could hold it in. He rolled his eyes and started for the door, a ghost of a smile pulling at his lips.

"Yeah, yeah. Call me on the intercom if you need anything. I'll be just a few doors down," He informed before walking out the entrance way. I smiled at his retreating form before staring up at the ceiling again. I closed my eyes to try and sleep but images of Atton and Malachor V played before me like a holo-vid. My eyes shot open. I clutched the stark white sheets below me and tried to control my breathing. Sweat rolled down my forehead and my chest contracted painfully.

 _"Zyelle… people don't cry because they're weak. They cry because they've been strong for too long."_

"Atton…" I cried for the first time in 313 years.

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Good lord. That chapter just did not want to end. I was writing while texting my friend and I was trying to get all the background out so we could keep the pace of the story moving but I was trying to cover her childhood, her race and the events of KOTOR I all in one chapter and it was a lot more than I thought it would be so I apologize in advance for that (unless you want all the chapters to be this long. In that case I can oblige).

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! She's going to have interactions with more of the crew in the next chapter, especially with Kira and Ariae. She's gonna love T7 because he reminds her of T3 so that's cool! She does not, under any circumstance, get along with Scourge and she drinks a lot with Rusk so that's something to look forward to later on!

Chapter 4 she's going to meet the Jedi Council and have some not-so-friendly banter with Satele Shan (I am so ready). She's also going to get drunk and tell Ariae about her first love. I'm super excited about this story. I've never been so pumped before! I'm writing the third chapter right after I post this one! I stayed up way too late writing this chapter so I'm going to go to bed now! Enjoy and leave any comments and questions you have!

-Jenna


	3. Let Me Know

**The Path Before Us**

 **Chapter 3** : Let Me Know

 **AN:** I am so very sorry it took so long to update this! I was really busy for a few days and then I went to get my wisdom teeth out so I was really out of it for a while and in no condition to write! Thankfully, I'm back again and ready to get the ball rolling again so here we go!

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" _The biggest priority in life should be happiness."_

Doc left his datapad on the med table and I couldn't help but grab it and start looking for any information I could grasp to understand this century I was now living in. As I scrolled through the pages on the holo net there were millions of stories with titles that included the Sith and the Jedi and this long war that kept raging on between the two. When I was traveling the galaxy the Sith were practically extinct but it looks like Revan was right. There was a real Sith power out there that we couldn't have imagined.

Everything else looked relatively similar to when I was last awake. The droids looked newer and the starships had better upgrades but all in all everything looked relatively the same. The Republic still worked with the Jedi and the Imperials work with the Sith. Czerka and other companies look like they're still getting in the way of things and it seems like this group of "Separatists" were just making a lot of unnecessary noise.

My fingers began typing on the pad before I could stop them and the word "Atton Rand" appeared on the screen. I hadn't expected to see much but I sliced through some files and started reading in case I found anything of value. Everything I read at first was information I already knew. Atton Rand, formally known as the Jedi Hunter Jaq, traveled the galaxy on a secret mission with the Jedi Exile and her crew. Some of them were mentioned by name. I noticed, however, that I was not. This brought a smirk to my face when I realized Meetra made sure I was left out of all the reports.

However, the next article I pulled up was something I did not expect. _Atton Rand began helping Admiral Carth Onasi with Bastila Shan and the rising Jedi Order, to increase construction of new Republic colonies on peaceful planets. After helping rebuild cities from the damage during the wars, Admiral Onasi is positive that they can make a change quickly with the new Jedi Order and help from Rand's network around certain smuggling rings._ My heart was racing. Atton didn't die on Malachor. There's no way he survived. I couldn't stop the rubble from falling in time!

I clicked on another article and continued reading. _Atton Rand, a remarkable Republic ally, had a heart wrenching story to tell. Military reports read that he was close to death on the late planet Malachor V when a young Jedi Knight stopped the rubble from crushing them. She then used all of her force energy to encase them in an energy bubble. Without her sacrifice, Rand would have died. The force bubble began healing the deadly wounds he received from a fight with the Sith and stabilized his vitals, keeping him from going into shock. Unfortunately, the Jedi Knight was nowhere to be found when Exile Meetra Surik and her crew arrived to pick them up. No one knows of her whereabouts._

I don't understand. I… I saved his life. Then what happened to me? Did I just float around unconscious in space until someone picked me up and then proceeded to freeze me? This doesn't make any sense. However, the more I looked the more I found on Atton and his good deeds with Carth and the Republic. I couldn't believe it. Ever since I woke up I was certain he died. That I had failed him and the Republic… but I saved him with my force energy. I couldn't find any articles on me. Whoever wanted me out of the Republic and Imperial records sure did a good job. There wasn't any scrap of news that came up with my name on it. Well, from the looks of that article they made me out to be a war hero. Suck it Bastila.

I came across a picture of Atton. He looked like his normal self other than the clothes. His hair was still unruly and the classic smirk he always carried graced his lips but he was wearing a blue, yellow and white republic suit. It did not suit him.

"Well that guy sure is handsome. Do you think you could give me his holo number?" The sudden voice startled me and I almost dropped the datapad. My head shot up to see the new figure in the room. It was a young girl, maybe in her early twenties, with cropped orange hair and fair skin. She was dressed similarly to Ariae and had a tray in her hands with food and water. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Doc told me you were awake and I figured you might be hungry after all those years in frozen confinement."

This must be Ariae's apprentice. She seemed pretty harmless and considerate. I liked the look in her eyes. It conveyed trust and openness. I guess they would since those are the ways of the Jedi. "No, it's my fault. I was pretty lost in the holo-net and didn't even realize you arrived. Thank you for the food, it's very kind of you," I tried to make simple conversation without sounding too awkward. I was still trying to get used to talking again and making my brain work fast enough to come up with responses without seeming peculiar.

The Padawan put the tray on the side table and motioned to the seat across from me and I nodded in response as she sat down. I picked up some bread and began taking small bites when she spoke again, "My name is Kira Carsen. I'm a Jedi Knight working with Ariae." I looked up curiously. She wasn't her apprentice? She must of understood my confusion because she continued, "She used to be my master but the Jedi Council gave me the status of Knight last month." I hummed in understanding while I kept eating the bread. "So who's the guy? He's pretty handsome and he's in Republic uniform too."

I stopped chewing and looked at the holo of Atton standing tall with that mischievous smirk he proudly carried before deactivating the datapad. "Just a friend I used to know," I answered. I didn't want to seem too cold but I wasn't about to talk about Atton to a stranger. Her aura did not change the deep blue it had been since I first saw it with Doc. She was a very connected person to say the least and thankfully she didn't seem offending by my lack of openness about the subject.

"I'm sorry," she began, "I shouldn't have snooped. It's a bad habit of mine, just poking into other people's business. Ariae keeps telling me I need to learn to control my curiosity but there's only so much excitement the Jedi Order can give." Oh, I was going to like this girl. She had a mind of her own and didn't just praise the Jedi Council in all their idiocy. She caught herself though and tried to render the situation differently, "I mean… wait, I didn't mean that. It's not that the Jedi Order is boring or even that it should bring excitement! I just," she heaved a sigh and looked at the ground, "Well, Kira, you really dug yourself in deep this time didn't you?"

The room was silent before I burst into boisterous laughter. I put down the rest of my bread and clutched my stomach. Tears sprung to my eyes as I was finding it hard to breathe I was laughing so hard. I could sense her confusion but when I tried to speak I just ended up laughing harder. The aura of the whole ship turned a swarming yellow with curiosity but no one moved to assess the situation. "I…" I tried to speak through the tears, "I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you… I just, you remind me so much of me when I was a Padawan. The resemblance in personality is really uncanny. I always found the Order a little too boring for my taste as well. I'm more a woman of action."

She finally relaxed and let out a laugh herself before shifting back comfortably into the chair. I reached out my hand to her before introducing myself, "My name is Zyelle Ryxx. It's nice to meet you Jedi Knight Kira Carsen." Kira laughed at the use of her full title before shaking my hand firmly

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to introduce you to the rest of the crew when you're done eating. You're a bit of a mystery and everyone's anxious to meet you," Kira proposed. I stopped eating again to look at her with an unsure expression. "Of course, you don't have to meet them if you're uncomfortable. It's just, we still have three days before we reach Tython because we have to make a few stops along the way and I just feel like it'll be easier to adapt to a few people instead of being bombarded by hundreds of Jedi on Tython. It's your choice either way. I just want you to feel at ease here on the ship…" Kira trailed off and I placed my hand on her shoulder.

I started, "Kira, it is okay. You didn't offend me in anyway with your suggestion," I stopped and began fiddling with my fingers. It's a habit I have when I get nervous. "I know I need to start acclimating to society. I'm just not very use to the social aspect of everything yet. I feel like my brain and my mouth are working at a slower speed than normal. However, that may just be because I'm feeling a little bit out of my element. Everything here is so new to me because I've been gone for so long."

Kira was a very comfortable person to be around and I already felt like I could call Doc a friend but those were lucky shots. When I was a Jedi I only had three friends and I wasn't very good with other people unless I was commanding my troops but I didn't have a choice then and none of us were friends. When I was a bounty hunter, I had more enemies than anything else and when I was a slicer I just used my influence and persuasive capabilities to make everyone think I liked them when really I hated them all. The two times I was stranded on a ship with 10 other people or droids was always half and half. I avoided some of them at all cost and trusted the other half with my life or at least to keep my glass full of alcohol. Either way, I wasn't sure my personality at this moment was best equipped to handle more than one person at a time but… I was willing to try.

I finished the last bite of food before wiping my hands on my pants and standing up. Kira gave me a curious expression which I returned with an uneasy smile. "I'm ready to meet the crew. I can't stay in here forever." Kira shot up from her chair and hooked her arm through mine.

"It's going to be great Elle. I promise. T3 is great! Rusk is a little boring but he's a good guy. Just ignore the fact that Scourge even exists and you'll do fine! You've already made a friend out of Doc and me so it's like you're already halfway there!"

I didn't say anything about the fact that Kira had already given me a nickname. In all honesty, I kind of liked it. It made me feel more at home.

After doing the math I looked at Kira, "Kira… that's only two of the six people on this ship." Kira stopped in her tracks and turned to face me.

"Droids aren't biased. He likes anyone as long as you don't threaten to shut him down," her voice became quiet, "Which is why T7 doesn't like Doc." She lifted her head from my ear and we began our stroll again as I chuckled at her comment. That doesn't surprise me. Doc doesn't seem like the type to listen to droids or their opinions. Add that to the list of personality traits he shares with… never mind.

We pulled into the kitchen and two alien species turned their heads to stare at me. One was a male Chagrian with light blue skin and scars on his face. He must be the soldier. The other… the other was large with deep crimson skin. I had never seen someone of his species in my life and I automatically tensed in his presence. His eyes were yellow and red just like a Sith's would be and muscular ridges protruded from his face adorned with silver jewelry. His usual black aura flickered yellow briefly before turning back to darkness. His armor alone was threatening and it didn't help that he stood probably over a foot above me. I saw his lightsaber attached to his hip and I reflexively reached for my own before remembering it wasn't there.

"This must be our guest. Welcome aboard the Defender. My name is Sergeant Rusk," the Chagrian soldier approached me and greeted me with a salute which I returned. The Sith just stared at me from the corner. His eyes flickered up and down my form with curiosity and I could feel him reach out and try to discover anything about me with the force. I pulled out an old trick of mine. I let him in just a little bit before gathering my strength, reaching out to his mind and then pushing him as hard as I could. He let out a loud yell before stumbling back against the wall. Both Kira and Rusk's heads shot towards the Sith and feet pounded against the metal floor from down the corridor.

Doc and Ariae rushed through the entrance. With a look of grave concern on her face, Ariae was the first to speak, "What happened? Is someone hurt?" Doc's hand went to his med belt as a reflex and I could feel Ariae and Kira begin to call out to the Force.

Letting out a sigh, I raised both of my hands up, "I'm sorry. That was my fault. That… Sith… was trying to reach into my mind with the Force so I pushed past his defenses and sent a strong force wave into his mind instead of just blocking him out. I apologize if I caused any distress." Everyone in the room relaxed and Ariae shook her head before helping the Sith off the ground.

"Scourge. This isn't a Sith interrogation room. You can't go probing through someone's mind without their permission." Ariae was forceful with her command. It seemed like this wasn't the first time this conversation was had. Scourge glared at me before leaving to his quarters. Kira placed her hand reassuringly on my arm and Doc gave me a playful shove.

He chuckled, "Looks like you're causing trouble before dinner." I sent him a sheepish grin before turning to Ariae. The look she gave me was much different than before. All feelings of jealousy and curiosity were gone. They were replaced with sympathy. I turned my eyes away from her when I noticed a small droid roll through the entryway to my feet.

He beeped at me a few times and then spun in a circle with a high pitched whirl. I laughed and kneeled down so I was eye level with his head compartment. "Hey T7, it's a pleasure to meet you too. My name is Zyelle. You remind me a lot of a droid I used to know a long time ago!" T7 beeped back at me and I nodded, "Yeah. We were best friends. He used to make me medpacs to take on missions and I would update and enhance his hardware when we were on breaks. I could take a look at a few things for you if you'd like." T7 screamed with excitement and I tapped his head with a giggle. "Sounds good pal. I'll take a look at you later." The droid whistled approvingly before rolling back out of the room and I was left again with Ariae's sympathy.

Rusk had left the room at some point so it was just Kira, Ariae, Doc and I. Doc was reading some sort of medical news on a datapad at the kitchen island and Kira was balled up in the corner cleaning her lightsaber which left me with the Jedi Master.

"I'm sorry." At first Ariae's voice was so quiet I could barely hear her. My head turned to the side in question and Ariae spoke again, a little louder this time. "I'm sorry about what happened to you."

I shrugged before replying, "Don't be. You're not the one who caused the problems and they're my demons to handle."

"I know," Ariae relaxed from her tall Jedi stature and ran her hands across her robes anxiously. She wasn't very good at expressing herself. This I could sympathize with. "And I know you don't want to hear those words but, I'm sorry. No one person should have to go through that much pain in one lifetime."

"Honey, I've lived four lifetimes," I retorted and finally Ariae's stoic expression gave and she let out a rare smile.

"I guess you're right," she answered, "You're very strong. I can't imagine having to deal with all of that alone only to wake up one day in a strange time, on a strange starship surrounded by a bunch of strangers. You're taking everything surprisingly well."

With a shrug I leaned against the countertop, "I'm just trying my best to adapt. Like if you took a Tauntaun from Hoth and threw it onto Tatooine. You either adapt or die and since I can't do the latter, even if I wanted to, I guess I'm going to have to settle for the prior option: Adapt and survive."

Ariae opened her mouth and then closed it immediately. Doc seemed like he was deep into his data-pad but I could see his aura falling around him in a deep purple. Kira's was similar. It was the first time I had seen it change since I arrived on the ship.

I didn't like this. They were getting too attached already. This was a ship full of people with far too many feelings. Two Jedi's were bad enough but two Jedi's full of overflowing compassion was even worse. Doc tried to put on a mask most of the time but he was a huge softie on the inside. Rusk seemed all business and Scourge, that Sith trash, still seemed very connected to his dark teachings no matter how much Ariae tried to sway him.

This was bad.

"Can you explain something to me?" I addressed this question to Ariae. She stood up straight, clasping her hands in front of her and raising her head so she was eye level to me.

"If I have the knowledge to do so, then I will try," She replied. Very Jedi-like if I do say so myself. That was such a diplomatic answer. It took every inch of my being not to roll my eyes.

"Okay, well, explain this. Why did your Jedi Council decide to send you out to me? I obviously wasn't a child that they wanted to bring into the order. My force signature is too strong for that. When you found me, I was in a compromising position and I know you contacted the Council immediately after finding me. So… what did they say? Why are you taking me back to Tython? What could the council possibly want from an old ex-Jedi like me?" I finished with a lick of sarcasm in my voice.

Ariae sighed before biting her lip and shifting a bit. Kira looked up from her lightsaber and Doc's eyes shifted to the two of us as his hands stopped skimming over the text. Ariae loosened her stance and looked to the ground before placing her hands on her hips.

"Honestly? I'm not sure. With that force signature they have to know you're a Jedi or Sith… or ex-force user of some sort. They specifically told me to unfreeze you before landing on Tython so they must not have thought you were a threat," She trailed off. I could tell she was trying to figure it out herself.

"Did you show them a holo of me?" I asked.

"Yes."

"To the whole Council?"

"Most of them."

"Was Shan there?"

This question confused Ariae and Kira. "Why would that matter?"

I scoffed before running my fingers through my hair and rubbing the back of my neck. Shan's are always nosey. "There are not many people who look like me. Actually, there's no one who looks like me in the whole galaxy," Doc snorted at my comment before I continued, "There's no information on me in the Republic network or the holo-net. I can't check the Jedi archives but I know Jedi Masters, especially those on the council, have access to that information. If there's anything left on me in holos, then that's where they'd be."

There was silence before Kira spoke up, "And?"

I smiled at her, "And… I'm pretty bad ass if I do say so myself. I defeated leagues of Mandalorians during the war while only leading ten other men and women. I've defeated scores of Sith single handedly. If they have my health records then they'd know that I'm not only immortal but I also have ten times the force ability of a normal Jedi. I can practically slice into anything you put in front of me. I'm one hell of a liar and I can trick anyone into giving me information."

"Then why would the Jedi Council have use for you?" Ariae questioned. I scoffed and scrunched my eyes at her before shaking my head in disbelief.

"The Jedi Council will use anyone they can to gain the advantage over the Sith or their enemies. I'm a valuable asset," I finished but Ariae was already shaking her head in disagreement.

"I don't know what your Council was like," she began, "But the Jedi Council of today wouldn't use someone like that."

I crossed over to her until we stood eye to eye and were inches apart. I searched her eyes and her aura for any uncertainty in her answer, and I found none. I was speechless. She had every bit of confidence in her Council. She actually believed in the way of the Jedi Order…

"Hon, trust me," I mocked, "All Councils are the same. They keep everyone on a leash for control and they deceive every one of the truth to keep the Order in line. They're liars and idiots."

I turned to walk away but Ariae's words stopped me, "Sounds like the words of a Sith to me." I took in a deep breath before spinning around to face her again.

I smirked, "The Sith don't waste their energy on words. They destroy every humane part of you. They crush you and leave you bleeding on the ground, screaming, begging for mercy. Crying for death to come to release you from the endless, agonizing torture." The whole room turned cold. Ariae looked disgusted. Kira terrified. I didn't dare look at Doc. His aura was enough to send me rushing out of the room to the med bay.

I closed the door behind me before sliding down to the cold metal floor. The ignorance of the Jedi aggravates me but the ways of the Sith appall me.

What I just said… I didn't… Ariae's ignorance of what the Sith were actually like… What a true Sith was actually like… What they do to people. I'm not a Sith. I'm not a Jedi. I'm just a force user who refuses to follow any group of people who think they know what's best and control everyone.

My head rested on my knees as I was rolled up into a ball in the corner of the room. I heard the door slide open but I didn't look up. The yellow and blue aura approached me cautiously. It stood in front of me for a while before sliding down next to me and sighing.

"This time I actually have something to be sorry for." I was not expecting it to be Ariae's voice and this shocked me into jolting my head up to look at her. Her eyes were staring at the wall across from us and her hands were playing unconsciously with her robes. I didn't say anything.

We sat in silence for a long time before I realized she had begun meditating. She was attempting to sooth me with her force presence. She was trying to put together the puzzle that was me. The complicated puzzle with missing pieces and frayed edges.

Closing my eyes, I began to breathe deeply before entering my own deep meditation. Maybe, just maybe, I could start putting the puzzle pieces together again. Maybe, this time, I could let someone understand why I am the way I am. Maybe finding a place in this huge, crappy galaxy wouldn't be so bad…

* * *

Again, I am so unbelievably sorry for the wait! Also, trying to figure out what I wanted to say in this chapter was a lot harder than I thought it would be but here it is. Hopefully it's not too terribly thrown together. I hope you enjoyed it!

Next chapter, to Tython we go! It looks like she's opening up to Ariae and the others which is good! Next chapter is going to be full of sass and sarcasm because there's only one thing she hates more than the Sith and that's dealing with the freaking Jedi Council.

I would really appreciate any feedback you guys have. I'm worried that this story is too extreme and not believable and I want to know what you guys think! Reviews really do keep the author going and keep the mind and ideas flowing! Thanks again for going on this journey with me!

\- Jenna


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